New Contest: "It's a Sign!"

Howdy, y’all! Wow, after the absolutely overunderwhelming success of our last contest (Name That Thing!), I think it’s time for another one, don’t you think? (sound of one hand clapping)

Hey, I knew you'd see it my way!

Anyhoo, I was walking down the sidewalk the other day (or was I walking ‘up’ the sidewalk? Here in flat ol’ Houston, Texas, I can never tell...) when I noticed the sign you see here.

Now, I realize the trend over the last few decades has been to make road signs such as these as comprehendible compromisable complicappable widely understood, and by as large a segment of the population, as possible. I get that.

But still; sometimes I think we’re goin’ a bit too far towards simplifying these things, y’know?
The problem, as I see it (which of course may explain everything), is we’re gettin’ to the point where what’s left is ‘waaaay too open to interpretation, if you know what I mean. And I know I’m not alone in this. (At least, I hope not!)

Take this sign.

Yes, I’m sure we all realize the intended meaning is “Pedestrian Crossing Ahead”, right? (I know it can’t possibly mean, “Stop for People in Crosswalk”, because nobody actually, y’know, does. But I digress.) However, in my humble opinion, it could also be imbued (which is a fancy way of sayin' stuffed with) with lots of other meanings as well.

For instance, when I see it I immediately think, “Man With Painful Backache Ahead”. (Hey, don't run; I’ve got more...)

So What Do You See?

So just for the fun of it, what would YOU suggest as a new, improved meaning for this sign?

Remember, folks, this is a contest, so that means you’ll have a chance to win one of three valuable prizes!

First Prize: Monogrammed belly-button lint bag

Second Prize: Used apple core, gnawed by Mr. Middle Zone himself (er; that's me)

Third Prize: Photo of my Elvis clock

(Well, actually, we had these prizes left over from our last contest – again, that’s: Name That Thing! – mainly because the hapless victims innocent bystanders lucky winners kept, er, returning ‘em! Go figure.)

Anyway, just leave your suggestions in the trash can out back the comment box! Once we collect enough of 'em (that's code for more than 2), Brad, George and yours truly will get together and randomly choose a victim winner!

So keep those, er, card and/or letter comin', folks!
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