- Barack Obama will win in a landslide.
- Democrats will end up with 59 seats in the Senate.
- John McCain will make an early and gracious concession speech and immediately begin planning his 2012 campaign.
- The Dow Jones Industrial Average will drop precipitously on news of the election, but then recover smartly during Q1 09.
- In Q2 09, the Dow will dip to zero when all U.S. corporations are nationalized.
- Unbeknownst to the public, Sarah Palin and Tina Fay will switch jobs. In 2010 their scheme will be exposed and made into a sitcom airing on C-SPAN.
- George W. Bush and Al Gore will team up to start a Washington think tank, Global Village and Pillage.
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